One of the advantages of having a blog branded with your own name is nothing What you wrote is a hot topic. Today’s topic is sadness and how to overcome it. (Hello, it’s my blog, my rules. By the way, this isn’t the first time I’ve been sidetracked.)
My psychiatrist’s instructions are simple: Focus on four things: sleeping, eating, showering, and going out. Nothing else matters (but we agreed to spend time in Second Life 😉).
I need to give myself the time and space I need to grieve properly for my mother, and honor that process rather than mindlessly jumping into one of the many other projects I have planned (e.g., working on an OER textbook on the metaverse, decluttering my apartment, which resembles the current Red Cross disaster zone, and doing a thorough spring cleaning, etc.).
eat. sleep. shower. And go outside. (And Second Life helps me stay sane. sense of controlIt is noticeably absent in many aspects of my real life). I’m listening to the following song a lot.
I also find myself crying a lot at inconvenient times, such as during a performance of Jesus Christ Superstar on the Rainbow Stage. (This led to a tearful exit midway through and an apology text later broadcast to my group of friends, who had no doubt where I had gone.) I’ve been trying to do “normal” things like go to a friend’s 60th birthday party or go to the Rainbow Stage Musical, and to be honest, I’ve ended up leaving early. exhaustedAnd I’m a mess. But I know I won’t be exhausted and a mess forever.
Sometimes I put on a list of sad, mournful songs on Apple Music and I listen to them and sob. My psychiatrist doesn’t think this is useful, but to me it seems like a good way to get some trapped emotions out. I take great pride in my ability to write well and explain complex processes or ideas in an easy-to-understand manner. I’m completely baffled by the fact that I can’t clearly express what’s going on in my brain right now. I struggle to find words and sometimes tears come out and more tears come out. So I lay down on the sofa and wrapped myself in my mother’s crocheted afghan (orange and yellow). scream 1970s) and shed tears. This is one of the songs that makes me cry.
So I think that’s exactly where I am right now. sleep. shower. eat. weep. Go outside. Do something in Second Life. Repeat as needed until you feel human again. Yes, I have people to talk to (including both professionals and friends, including an active listening service I still use regularly, although I now tend to talk via Discord rather than meeting as an avatar in Second Life). And yes, eventually I will start communicating with people on social networks again and organizing outings and events.
Not tonight. And not this week. But soon. Someday, there will come a better day than today.
My blog is going to be taking a break for a while.
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